The Empath’s Guide to Healing and Self-Care
Do you notice and absorb feel the emotions of others around you? Do you feel other people’s pain as if it were your own? Are you a natural caregiver, feeling other people’s joy and pain very strongly and often going beyond what would be considered normal in order to help them? If so, then you may be an empath, or in other words, a person high on the spectrum of empathy.
A Spectrum of Empathy
You can imagine a spectrum of empathy, with a full empath on one side -- feeling the emotions, energy, and suffering of the beings in your environment. On the other side would be individuals who are out of touch with the energy and emotions of others, perhaps with narcissistic tendencies. There is no one official definition of being an empath, and it is not a diagnosis. However, most of us can recognize that different people have a differing levels of empathy.
Signs You May Be an Empath
There are a few telltale signs that you are an empath. You may have a very vivid imagination and find yourself fantasizing as a form of escape from the feelings of others. You may often have vivid dreams or nightmares that are heavily influenced by the emotions of people around you. You may have strong mood swings that are influenced by the mood of the people around you. For example, if someone in your office is feeling depressed, you may find yourself feeling more depressed than usual as well. Empaths often have a difficult time with relationships. If you find that you get drawn into other people’s dramas and feel compelled to help them with their problems, even if they don’t want your help, then you might be an empath.
Challenges of Being an Empath
Being an empath is hard. Being an empath is also a wonderful gift. It means that you have the ability to sense and understand the feelings of other people. An empath can sense another person’s fear or anger or despair even when those feelings are buried deep within them. It can be exhausting at times, but there are also plenty of ways for you to protect yourself from negative energy while keeping your empathic abilities open at the same time. Alternatively (or additionally), you may possess the train of sensory processing sensitivity, or be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). An earlier blog post explores the differences between being an empath, an HSP, introverted, and shy.
One of the biggest reasons why being an empath can be so difficult is that many people don’t understand what you are going through. People who do not experience empathy on the same level that you do may view you as overly sensitive or may even accuse you of being manipulative for feeling the emotions of others so strongly. Being an empath can cause you a great deal of suffering because of the intensity of the emotions you feel. You may be drawn to people who have intense feelings, but this can cause you to get pulled into their problems and get hurt because you care so much for them. Empaths often have a difficult time keeping healthy relationships because other people don’t understand the way you process information. Your friends and family members may think that you are being overly dramatic or that you are too sensitive, when in reality you are just feeling your emotions on a level that they don’t understand.
Strategies to Protect Yourself as an Empath
As an empath, you will likely already know that not everyone is out to help you, and the world can feel like a very difficult place. There are, however, a few things you can do to help protect yourself and heal yourself as an empath.
Eliminate toxic people from your life – First and foremost, you want to set boundaries with toxic people from your life, and letting go of the relationships that are not healthy and/or are irreparable. These are people who bring you down and who thrive on bringing others down. They are the ones who will use your empathy against you and make you feel guilty for not letting them use your help.
Stay away from negative people – Another thing you can do to protect yourself as an empath is to stay away from negative people. Negativity will only make you feel more negative and will pull you down.
Create an empath-proof room or space – If you have a home office, you can create an empath-proof, low stimulation room. Shut the door, put up a sign that says “do not disturb”, and you can start to insulate yourself from the negative energy in the rest of the house.
Create a shield of light – Another way to protect yourself as an empath is to visualize a shield of light around yourself. Imagine this shield of light surrounding you, protecting you from negative or harmful energy that may come your way.
Healthy boundaries - Learn the boundary between you and others. This applies to other people’s emotions, desires, likes and dislikes, and more. It is ok (and healthy!) to say no to things that push you beyond what you can tolerate. Consider reaching out to a holistic therapist to learn how to set healthy boundaries. This starts with mindfully tuning into your own emotions and your body sensations, and gently exploring the thoughts and behaviors that are connected to them.
Maintain a Self-Care Routine as an Empath
Because empaths often have such a strong connection to others, it can be difficult to maintain a self-care routine. That said, it’s essential for empaths to take care of themselves. Without self-care, an empath could easily burn out from trying to help others so much and from absorbing the energy of others.
Empaths have a tendency to get overwhelmed easily, so it’s important to set up boundaries. You might want to avoid volunteering at the local soup kitchen if the suffering of others is causing you too much stress. Or it may be best to say no to in-person meetings with large groups of people when your energy is low, instead opting to help remotely or with a better use of your skills. Empaths may want to add a few extra steps to their self-care routine in order to protect themselves and maintain their energy levels. You might want to try adding visualizations to your day to help protect yourself from the negative energy in the world around you. Meditation is also an excellent self-care technique for empaths because it helps you to tune out the noise of the world and to center yourself.
Therapy for Empaths
If you are an empath, an understanding therapist who specializes in working with empaths can help. These therapists are also knowledgeable about working with highly sensitive people (HSPs). Being in therapy can help you to process your feelings and to understand your empathic abilities better.
Empaths may have a difficult time finding a therapist who understands their special abilities, so it is important to do your research before visiting a therapist. You may want to ask your friends for recommendations and find a therapist who specializes in treating empaths or highly sensitive people. Empaths often have a connection to spirit guides, who are helpful in quieting their emotions. You may also find that a therapist can help you to quiet your emotions and deal with negative energy that you may have absorbed from others.
Empaths often feel everything very deeply and can benefit from therapy in learning how to process their emotions better and in learning how to keep their energy fields clean. Contact us to get started with a free 15-minute consultation to find the right clinician for your needs.
